Taking Chances
Recipient: _slowly_dying
Author: fly_meaway
Pairing: Orlando/Dominic
Rating: PG-13
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As he sits in the dark, trying to recollect his memories, he can hear the other inmates talking and every now and then, someone raises their voice. He tries to block it out, as he would much rather be busy with his own thoughts, his memories, his grieve, than anything that is going on in here. There's a reason he's called a loner amongst the inmates and he'd rather keep it like that.
But the moment he hears nothing and they're all quiet, is when his ears are wide open. He's been here so long, that he knows that excitement followed with quietness always means something. He tries to remember if there's a new one coming, but his memory fails him as he sees a shadow moving towards his cell. Then bright brown eyes look straight at him and a smile from the new guard, apparently, which makes him want to check out the guard while he's walking away.
"A new guard?" He asks and he wants to get up from his place in the dark and look at the guard some more, because from what he's seen so far, he looks incredibly pretty. He can hear, not see, Sean yelling a "yes" and the whispering and talking continues.
Dominic knows he doesn't have that much time here anymore, his felony wasn't that bad, though he's been in here, this god-awful prison, for much longer than he can remember and he's seen too many people come and go. The only thing he's grateful for, is that this prison is considerably good and it's not a really high security prison. But in the deep of the night, when he tries to remember, is when he thinks he might've deserved something else. More awful.
"Dom? Are you coming for dinner?" He can hear Sean's voice again and Sean is really the only person who actually speaks to him, as most of the other men have started to see him as the freak and the loner and they'd rather spend their time and effort on someone else.
Dominic doesn't really blame them.
He shrugs off his thoughts and he's had enough therapy by now to realize he should stop the fucking pity act, but he's too drained and tired to care. He hasn't slept in days, knowing the end date is drawing closer every week, every day.
He walks to the hall where all the other inmates are already sitting at a table, eating, in some kind of peace for the moment. Sean waits for Dominic and as Dominic approaches him, he smiles and hands him a tray. "Good food tonight," Sean says and Dominic wants to say something witty, but refrains and mumbles a "sure". They both get their dinner and walk to the table where they always sit. Dominic sits next to Frank, who watches him, waits for a moment, possibly to say something, but then remembers not to and just looks the other way again.
Sean starts small talk, about football mostly, and Dominic's never really been unsocial, so he knows how to talk back and joke every now and then. That is, until the door opens and he sees the new guard walking in. Sean sees Dominic staring and whispers: "Orlando is his name, I believe. Kinda a rooky, that's why they placed him here." Dominic nods and knows he should stop staring, if he doesn't want the other guys to start noticing things.
Though he can't help it if he occasionally looks in the new guard's direction.
He doesn't see the new guard for two days. Not until the guard has a night shift and turns off the lights in the hallway and checks all their cells. None of the other guards look up or down when they're checking the locks of the cells, but this guard does. He checks the lock of Dominic's cell and then looks up. To the inside. Dominic is still awake and he can feel the guard's eyes on him.
They're beautiful.
And Dominic welcomes his newest obsession.
***
Maybe being in prison for as long as he has now, and Dominic never counted the years, has made him this vulnerable for the very first thing to even slightly catch his interest. Of course you don't mention in prison that you're gay, that's a no-no, really, but Dominic can't deny that he is. He's had a ton of relationships and some are not even to be called relationships and if it wasn't for that, he might not even be in here. But his time is up, soon, and that only makes this itch, this obsession, for the new guard, harder.
He knows it's just an obsession and this isn't a movie in which he will eventually get the guard and they'll live happily ever, he knows that. But then again, a man can dream, can't he?
It's not until after another dinner that the guard, Orlando, actually speaks to Dominic. He walks them back to their cells and Dominic manages to get his way and walk exactly next to the guard, who looks up at him when he senses someone walking next to him. He says something in a gorgeous accent and Dominic listens, but doesn't really hear, and just before he walks into his own cell, he manages to let his hand softly touch Orlando's. Then he walks in, without turning around at first and when he does, after hearing the cell lock, he can feel their eyes lock and it's enough to keep Dominic's itch working for days.
Of course he jerks off.
Sean starts asking questions, when he notices the change in Dominic's behaviour. He even sees the little looks Dominic gives the new guard and Dominic is only glad that Sean is his friend and basically the only one that pays attention to him to notice any of this. Sean makes fun of him, but he's a friend and that's why Dominic decides he should really give Sean more of his attention.
So the next time they're outside on the court again, they play football, one of the few things they have in common. The other inmates give them odd looks, nobody plays football here, but return to their own basketball surely. Dominic is definitely winning and Sean groans every time he doesn't manage to catch the ball from Dominic, because his feet are just way too quick and Sean mutters that he's getting too old for games.
But Sean isn't a quitter, which is something Dominic has picked up on by now, so he awaits the urgency to come back to Sean, the urgency to win and it's then that they get a bit rough. All in good fun. Sean bumps into Dominic several times and Dominic returns the favour. They both would've gotten tons of red cards, had they been officially playing. At the last blow Dominic falls to the floor quite hard and his ass hurts. Had he been a kid, he'd been crying, but now he only laughs at the freedom he feels in every bone of his body.
Fucking freedom.
He sees a hand stretched out for him and he grabs it, expecting it to be Sean's hand, but when he's being pulled up and opens his eyes, he sees it's in fact the new guard his hand.
"Been playing a bit rough?" He asks and Sean is standing next to him, looking mighty smug. Dominic nods and he knows that if any of the other guards were here, they would not be as friendly as Orlando is. He smiles at Dominic. "Well, try not to be too rough, please, I don't want to take you guys to the nursery."
Dominic disagrees.
Orlando is still holding his hand and when Dominic looks at their hands, he can both see and feel the hand being pulled away. "Dominic," he says in a formal tone and Dominic can only look at the way his hair curls and how Dominic always liked guys with long curly hair. "Sean."
And then he walks away again. Dominic looks at Sean and Sean holds up the ball. "Another round?"
***
Dominic spends his days obsessing and he's more than happy with the change of thoughts, because he's so tired of trying to think about his future and how the hell he'll do once he's out of here. Sometimes it's the most terrifying thought, that there is a life after this, after prison, and he just wishes he had a life sentence, because at least then he wouldn't have to worry about anything. He could just spend his days like this and just feel so numb half the time that nothing seems to matter anymore.
That would've been lovely.
Though he also knows he wants to get out and that in here he sometimes feels like he's dying too and maybe that is exactly what makes going out even more terrifying.
The next time he and Sean are playing football again, is when the guard starts to play along. It's getting dark and the guards have told them a couple of times they really should get inside, since it's almost dinner time and they only have limited play time on the court. But the guards also don't stop them, at least not yet. And that's when the new guard suddenly steps into the game, after Dominic just got the ball from between Sean's feet and he's ready to make a run for it, towards the goal. It's then that another pair of feet are before his own and the guard carefully manages to catch the ball back and then score himself.
Sean pushes Dominic and teases him. The guard doesn't notice and smiles at the two men. It's then that it becomes a challenge, as the guard runs off with the ball stuck to his feet, Dominic and Sean both running, trying to get it back. Sean doesn't dare to push or tackle the guard, but he's not too scared to do that to Dominic in order to try and get the ball back himself.
Sean actually manages to catch the ball and after that the guard gets it back and Dominic also manages to catch the ball and after he does one of the other guards yells out to them. The new guard stands up straight, looks like he's caught and hisses to the men to come along inside.
Dominic thinks that moment passed by way too quickly.
***
But Dominic realizes he has every reason to feel lucky that he's allowed this kind of addiction, obsession, distraction. Whatever it is. And in the days that follow he sees the guard watching him from time to time and there's another play of football, which leaves Dominic hard and breathless once they return inside.
And that one time that he said "goodnight" when checking the locks, careful not to say it too loud, gave Dominic a hell of a night, though he didn't sleep. At all.
So when they tell him tomorrow is his last day, that today Orlando will bring him to the meeting and back, because he needs to have one to meet with his parole officer, that's when his mind starts to wonder. He waits in the dark, he fears letting in the light, for the footsteps which he know will come. He can block out the sound of the other inmates talking and yelling and whatnot, he's learned to do that by now, so he only waits for those footsteps that have become so familiar.
And there it is.
Orlando comes walking up to his cell, opens his door and takes Dominic along with him. "A big day tomorrow," Orlando says, not looking at Dominic. Dominic mumbles and lets Orlando lead the way and answers the questions Orlando asks. Even during the meeting he can't concentrate, though he absorbs all the information that is given to him. He has his mind set on other things and the moment he hears Orlando being called to bring him back is when every nerve on his body seems like it's on fire. He stands up and walks past Orlando, feeling just slightly the heat coming from his body.
When they're walking through the long tunnel and they're out of camera sight, because Dominic knows this all too well, he turns around, to Orlando and with his body on such a high he's not terrified at all. Not terrified at all, he reminds himself. And he crushes his body against Orlando's in a wild attempt to catch Orlando's lips and God, he's forgotten how to do this. Orlando pushes him away slightly and when Dominic presses again that's when Orlando bends down just a little, being taller and their lips meet.
Tongues meet and it's wet and hot and rough.
It's also weird and fucking uncomfortable, because he can feel Orlando's resistance and he senses that maybe this is wrong, so wrong, but so good and he doesn't stop, because he can't. His body is on a high and his mind is all over the place and Orlando pushes back some more, lets him know he wants this, before pulling back and straightening up his jacket.
"You gotta go back to your cell."
Dominic nods and he wishes he could say something, but he can hear voices everywhere and he knows he should listen to his freaking instincts for once and just walk on through. So they walk on. Through the tunnel, past the security stand, through guarded doors and then he's in his cell again.
When Orlando closes his cell door, Dominic stands on the other side, wanting to say something, wanting to touch really and he tries to think of more clever and witty things and when he thinks he's saying something, he hears a "thank you" instead.
And then he's gone.
And Dominic knows, he knows, because he memorized the schedule of the guards, he knows that Orlando doesn't have work tomorrow. He knows that tomorrow he will walk out of here, not knowing what to do and he wonders if his family will wait for him behind that gate. But whatever may happen, he knows Orlando won't be there tomorrow and he's only glad to have taken the chance, because from now on he doesn't do regrets anymore.
***
He gets his papers, his clothes and other stuff, all which he can't even remember anymore and then he's out. Sean gave him a huge hug as a goodbye and Dominic knows that Sean means it when he says that he'll look him up. Dominic tries to remember to send him a card with his address, because Sean is a good guy and he really is the only friend he has.
Doors open and the sky isn't blue and the sun isn't shining, but it's a free sky and the smell of the wind is pure and even when he was outside on the court, he couldn't feel any of this. See any of this. He walks through more gates and then when he takes the last step he turns around to say goodbye.
That step is terrifying.
He wonders how he should go about his life now and that's when he sees his brother. His brother comes walking up to him and Dominic doesn't want to cry, because he hasn't in so long, but he does and he engulfs his brother in a hug. "Good to see you, mate." And he doesn't know who said it, because his mind is swirling, feeling warmth again and he's relieved that his brother is actually here.
"I'm coming to pick you up. You're coming with me. For now."
Dominic nods and follows his brother to the car. He can't believe it and still the feeling that he'll wake up any minute now is setting his being on alert. But he doesn't wake up, instead he gets in the car, sits next to his brother, answers all of his brother's questions without hesitating and it feels better than anything in the world.
He rummages through the bag he got, just because he can't remember this, like he can't remember so many things and he wonders if he should remember this. A frame, but no picture. A book. Clothes he know he'll burn or throw away, because he doesn't really want anything to remind him of the person he was.
Then the note catches his eye.
A small yellow piece of paper with something scrambled on it. Dominic gets it out of the bag.
Come see me, Orlando.
There's an address written on it. Dominic reads the paper several times to make sure it's real.
***
That night he leaves his brother's house, after explaining to him he has to see someone. He can't blame his brother for being weary and he promises him he won't make the same mistakes again. He knows too much by now and he knows he'll do whatever he can not to screw it up this time. So Dominic grabs the car and drives to the address written on that yellow piece of paper.
The rain is falling out of the sky and it's nothing like a perfect fairytale, but at least this is real and that's all he ever really wanted. In the end.
He rings the doorbell twice before he actually hears footsteps coming down the stairs. Hasted. Swift. But footsteps and still he can recognize the footsteps. The door opens and there he is. Beautiful, better really, without that really awful uniform.
He doesn't look surprised to see Dominic there.
"Come on in."
And Dominic does. He has every intent on never leaving too, though that has yet to be decided. He walks in the house and closes the door behind him, because this time he'll take the chances that are given to him and though he might mess it up from time to time, he won't fuck it up.