Recipient: valerienne
Author: sassywitch
Pairing: Dominic/Billy
Rating: PG-13


It was better this way. Billy’s eyes watched carefully. Sadly. Cataloging every movement, every ripple of flesh, every blink of an eye, even the way his tongue pushed between his lips when he was concentrating hard. Billy’s mind had become a cyclorama of Dom Knowledge. No-one else needed to know of his obsession. They were best friends, nothing more, nothing less.

This would be their sixth Christmas. Somehow the fact that it was tradition didn’t make the want any less. Sometimes it actually made it worse.

He had been half in love with Dom from the very instant they had met. From the instant their hands had touched, the bare flesh of their hands sliding across each other before they had drawn each other into a hug had confirmed the spark of mutual attraction between them for him.

He had known in the blink of an eye. Yet even now, four years later, here he sat on the golden beaches of Hawaii watching the object of his affections teaching his girlfriend how to surf.

He used the term loosely of course. Girlfriend. It was such a relative term really. Yes she was a girl and she was his friend, but she’d never have Dom’s heart quite the way he did. Oh she’d have his body, Billy thought wryly, his eyes closing to blink back tears he refused to shed behind his mirrored sunglasses, but she’d never really have his heart.

As if confirming his maudlin thoughts, he drew a deep breath his eyes immediately drawn to the one who could so easily have been his lover. Even as his elegant long fingered hand slipped across Evi’s wetsuit clad body, his eyes sought Billy out on the beach. Of course it hadn’t been hard to miss the scowl of frustration that marred the freckled beauty of Evangeline’s face for the fraction of an instant it took her to control her emotions.

As Evi’s eyes met Billy’s for a fraction of a second in glib satisfaction and she pulled Dom’s face down to hers for a long wet kiss, Billy closed his eyes. It was one thing to encourage Dom to deepen his relationship with her. It was another thing entirely to watch her take what he wanted for what it seemed was his entire life.

Dom seemed to revel in their attraction and flaunt it at Billy whenever he could, almost as if he was taunting him into action. The only trouble was the constant teasing and electrically charged tension that flowed between them only managed to keep them both aroused to fever pitch and frustrate them both, because Billy never acted on Dom’s actions.

Sitting forward he grabbed his few belongings and slung his towel over his shoulder and traipsed back towards Dom’s house. Walking straight to the bathroom, he adjusted the flow of water from the shower, then peeled himself out of his wetsuit. Stepping under the steaming jets he finally allowed himself to release his tight hold on his emotions and as he turned his face up to the steady flow of water, tears of regret began to flow down his cheeks.

“Bills?” Dom’s questioning voice startled Billy badly. Quickly wiping his tears from his face he realized the futility of his actions, standing under the spray of water his tears were already hidden.

“Dominic.” He spoke a little more harshly than he would have liked. “I’m in the shower.”

“I know.” Dom stated “Are you alright?”

“Ah’m fine Dom.” He sighed, he should have known that Dom would sense his disharmony. Dom always did, and he always did his best to make Billy’s world balanced again.

“Something’s bothering you.” He stated. “And don’t bother denying it Bills, even Evi has noticed it.”

I’m sure she has Billy thought a little caustically. “You can’t help me Dom. It’s my problem not yours.”

Billy watched Dom drop the lid on the toilet then sit on it through the shimmering blue of the shower curtain. “I’m not leaving Bills.” He spoke.

“Dommeh Ah caint do this now.” Billy almost whimpered his accent thickening with his pain.

“We should have done this six years ago Bills.”

“No. No we shouldnae.” Bill almost spat. “And we’re nawt doing this now, it is nawt the right time.”

“When then Bills when will we do it, with you there’s never a good time.”

Billy turned off the shower and leaned with his hands against the cold white tiles. “Ah cannae do this Dom. It’s better this way.”

“For who?” Dom spat at him. Billy could tell he wanted to be angry but all he could hear in Dom’s voice was unaccountable sadness.

“Fer ye.” Billy replied softly. “It’s always been fer ye.”

“What would be so wrong Bills?” Dom’s voice was plaintive.

“Nothing.” Billy murmured “Everything.”

“It could have all been so right Billy.” Dom whispered. “All you had to fucking do was kiss me back.”

“Ah couldnae Dommeh.” Billy shook his head, his hand groping past the shower curtain for his towel. “That wouldae changed everything and ah couldnae do that ta ye.”

“Do what to me Billy?” Dom asked angrily. “Made me happy? Made me physically and emotionally complete? What couln’t you do Bills? Maybe this has all been about what’s easier for you?”

“Wrapping his towel around his waist, Billy flicked the curtain back. “Don’t ye go there.” He growled at Dom “Don’t ye be telling me what’s easiest fer me.”

“Then why Bills?” The tremulous edge to Dom’s voice pulled at Billy’s heartstrings and dissipated his anger. “It’s not easy for either of us so why pretend it is.”

“Dommeh, ye’re young.” Billy reached out to cup Dom’s face with one hand his thumb tracing across Dom’s cheekbone. “Your star is going to burn so bright it will blind all of us, I can’t let you give up even part of that for us.”

“Why don’t you give me that choice?” Dom murmured his own hand cupping Billy’s and pressing it tighter against his skin. “I don’t need all that shite Bills, I need to be happy not successful.”

Billy closed his eyes briefly and considered giving in to the overwhelming desire to pull Dominic into his arms. “It’s too late now Dom, there’s too many other people to consider. Evi for one, and Ali. We couldn’t now even if we wanted to.”

“Fuck them all Billy.” Dom lifted one hand to trace Billy’s trembling bottom lip with his thumb. “Why can’t we do what’s good for us? You know damn well this has been between us since the minute we met, it’s only getting harder to deny not easier. Give in to it Bills, please for me.”

“It’s fer ye ye daft prick ah caint.” Billy leaned forward and softly pressed his lips against Dom’s mouth before pulling back so quickly that he wondered if he’d imagined it. “Please don’t be askin me agin Dommeh.”

Billy lifted his wetsuit and dropped it across the bath to fix later and walked quickly from the room before the tears filling his eyes gave in to gravity and began their trek across his pale cheeks.

In the guest room he sat on the edge of the bed, his mind filled with whirling images of every touch, every word, every glance they had ever shared. This was the only thing he allowed himself of Dom, memories. Falling back he laid across the huge king size bed, his feet still resting on the floor as he replayed one specific memory over and over.

Their second Christmas in New Zealand, all it had taken was one glossy piece of mistletoe hung over Peter’s door to burn him to his very core. Dom had answered the door when he arrived and amidst the catcalls and leering cheers from their castmates he had performed the obligatory kiss. Billy had known he was in trouble from the moment Dom’s sparkling eyes had met his.

The past twelve months had been torture, torture to the point that Billy had considered running back to Scotland with his tail between his legs and licking his poor wounded heart. Dom to anyone else seemed oblivious to the sparks that flew between them whenever they touched. Their chemistry was not only physically electric but it still amazed Billy that they seemed to have some sort of mind meld. They finished each others sentences, unconsciously shared meals, wore each others clothes; to everyone else they were part of the one whole. To Billy, Dom was part of his soul, every time he denied himself Dom it killed a little piece of his heart.

Sighing deeply his decision made, Billy stood and pulled on a pair of jeans he had left laying across the end of the bed. Opening the drawer of his dresser he pulled out a folded tee-shirt and slipped it over his head.

Padding barefoot through the house he paused in the kitchen taking a glass from a shelf and filling it with water from a chilled jug in the fridge, almost dropping it as a feminine voice spoke behind him.

“I think you should go home don’t you?”

“Excuse me?” he lifted one brow as he turned to face her.

“You only make it harder for him.” She smiled sweetly as she lifted a strawberry from the bowl of fruit sitting on the table.

“That’s none of your concern.” Billy’s accent was barely audible as his voice tightened.

“I think it is. Every time we start to get serious, you visit and then we’re right back where we started from.” Evi spoke then bit into the succulent fruit she held.

“The fault for that does not lie with me.” Sadness was suddenly tangible in Billy’s voice.

“You know damned well it does.” Evi murmured “I’m not stupid Billy I see what you two could have had. I don’t want to know why you didn’t, hell I don’t even want to know whose choice it was, Dom won’t talk about it. I just want Dom for me. I’m tired of having your presence in our bed.”

“You should talk to Dom about this.” Billy shrugged turning away from her so she couldn’t see the moisture gathering in his eyes.

“I just told you, he won’t talk about you with me. It’s like you’re some sort of god on an ivory pedestal too high for us mortals to climb.”

“And you think that’s easy for me?” Billy whirled on her. “I didn’t ask to be put there.” He paused trying to reign in the anger that had been festering since he had watched them on the beach. “You have the one thing that I want more than my own breath and you want me to give him up completely?”

“It’ll be the only way he can be really happy.” She shrugged, smiling sweetly at him.

“Well you know what sweetheart. I. can’t. do. that. Not now, not ever. I won’t take his best friend away from him.” Billy’s accent grew thicker. “If you were half the girlfriend you think you are you wouldn’t be asking me to.”

Evangeline’s pretty face twisted into a grimace, her hand snapping out to smack Billy’s cheek. Her long fingers leaving an angry imprint on his cheek.

“I’m all the girlfriend you’ll let me be.” She hissed tears welling in her eyes, her anger building, her fingers flexed, stinging from the force of the blow.

“Don’t hit him again.”

Both combatants turned to face the speaker.

“I’m sorry Dommie.” Evi spoke contrite as she moved to his side, her arm sliding around his waist.

“Don’t Evi.” He pulled away from her his eyes leaving Billy’s “Just don’t okay.”

“Don’t what Dommie? Love you?” She asked holding her hands out to him.

“We both know this isn’t working.” He sighed “I just didn’t want to hurt you.”

“You did just by letting me believe.” She spoke softly, batting away his hand as he reached out a hand to her. “I’ll get my things.” She whispered and walked out of the kitchen pausing briefly at the door to speak. “We could have been happy together Dom. I could have made you happy.”

“No, no you couldn’t.” Dom murmured not even turning towards her. “Billy’s the only one that can make me happy.”

“Don’t do this Dom.” Billy spoke softly not breaking their eye contact.

“I’m not doing anything Bills.” He whispered “I can’t play this game anymore.” He reached out and brushed his thumb across Billy’s cheek, tracing the red mark Evi’s hand had left. “I just need to set it all right.”

“What about work?” Billy whispered stepping closer.

“What about it? Haven’t you read the tabloids? They already think we’re shagging like rabbits, what’s the problem?” he smiled wanly.

“If we do this then we cannae go back Dommeh.” Billy spoke softly.

“I know.” He smiled “What about Ali?”

“She left me.” Billy spoke softly “Weeks ago. Ah couldnae tell ye. It would have made it too easy for me to do something Ah shouldn’t. Ah didnae wanna come between ye and Evangeline”

“Bills. You’ve always been between us.” Dom murmured stepping so close they were sharing breath as they spoke. “Shut up and kiss me.”

The first genuine smile to grace Billy’s face all day split his perfect bow shaped lips as his tongue darted out to lick suddenly dry lips.

A deep heartfelt groan left Dom’s mouth as he leaned forward to press his mouth against Billy’s. His tongue darting out to lick Billy’s lips, flicking against Billy’s own tongue before chasing it back into his mouth, tracing across his teeth and sliding wetly against Billy’s tongue.

Billy’s hands pulled Dom closer to him, his small hands trailing up and down Dom’s lithe back, as their mouths met in a string of wet open mouthed kisses.

Feeling Billy’s hands on his cotton covered back, Dom let his own fingers slide down Billy’s body, long elegant fingers trailing across the waistband of Billy’s jeans. His fingertips ghosting across the worn denim roughly but with an awestruck reverence that six years of subtle foreplay created.

Dom lifted his mouth from Billy’s for the briefest of moments to trail wetly towards his ear, his breathing reduced to an erotic panting as he spoke. “In about two minutes Bill our first fuck will be on the kitchen floor Bills, we need to move.”

“Ah dinnae think meh legs will work Dommeh.” He mumbled against Dom’s sweat slick skin.

“Mine will.” Dom murmured, bending slightly he slipped his arm behind Billy’s legs and swung him into his arms. Staggering slightly, he moved through his house towards the guest bedroom, his lips stringing wet kisses across Billy’s face as he did.

Billy looped one arm around Dom’s neck and the other trailed across his chest, his fingers finding Dom’s nipples and pinching them through the cloth.

“Much more of that and I’ll drop you.” Dom whimpered as his knees turned to jelly.

“Mmmm.” Billy murmured as Dom almost threw him onto the bed, he was still bouncing as Dom fell on top of him, falling into the hollow between Billy’s spread legs. Their lips met in more wet kisses as their bodies merged.

As their passion burned bright between them, their bodies were so closely entwined it was hard to pick where one ended and the other began finally united as their souls had desired for so long.

Naked and sweat slicked, Dom dragged the coverlet from the base of the bed. Billy cradled limply against his chest as he rolled it around them and they sank into a deep sleep, their new life together beginning.


Concept created by Megolas in 2002
Fabulous artwork ©2002 by Hope.
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