Everything You Ever Wanted

Recipient: flymeaway
Author: overloved
Pairing: Dominic/Elijah
Rating: R


Dom learned early on in the filming process that things could get pretty inappropriate pretty quickly when he and Billy and Elijah

were drinking. Add in a special occasion and several idle hours and they were lucky they'd never actually been arrested for being drunken, lewd, loud idiots in public.

Though they had come close that one time when Viggo had got Orlando pressed across the hood of a truck in the car park at Te Papa.

His birthday, of course, looked to be descending pretty rapidly into one of the kinds of nights he would never tell him Mum and Dad about. They’d not take too kindly to hearing, "and then I slid my cock out through the slit in my pants and slowly lowered my sac over Lijah’s sleeping face and then..."

"Hold on. Hold on," Billy wheezes as laughter overtakes him again. "Shite, I can't get the bloody camera to work."

"Shhh," Dom answers back, as his own drunken giggles threaten to bubble up.

They’ve been drinking pretty steadily since the grapefruit mimosas at breakfast. Dom’s fingers are tangled and slow with alcohol as he climbs back off the couch, being very, very careful not to step on Elijah. Dom fiddles with the camera lens, and asks Billy, "D’you think it's weird that he's sleeping so hard? Maybe we should check that he's still alive."

Billy’s laughter goes all high and frantic, and Dom puts the hand that isn’t holding the camera up against Billy’s mouth to quiet him. "Shhh."

"Oy, you've touched yourself with that hand, Dom!"

Dom takes his hand back, "Sorry, Bill. Sorry," his breath short from trying so hard to keep quiet through the cackling. He hands the camera back and as he levers himself back into position over Elijah’s unconscious form, he says, "Wait until I’m actually in his mouth before you take the picture."

"I can't believe I think this is a good idea," Billy muses.

"Come on, now. It’s my birthday."

Just then, Elijah lets out a quiet snore and snuffles a bit. Dom freezes until Elijah lies still again, completely dead to the world.

This is the greatest prank ever, he thinks to himself, before finally lowering his bits as close to Elijah’s face as possible and very cautiously nudging his sac into Elijah’s open mouth.

He has two seconds to savour the perfect execution of his genius plan before two things happen at once: the flash on his camera explodes bright in the dim light of Billy's den, and Elijah wakes up, frantic and startled.

Dom falls, arse over tit, back onto Elijah’s body and right onto the carpet. He barely misses banging his head on the coffee table before he comes to an awkward stop, in a heap with his prick still hanging out through the fly in his pants.

Billy is not even pretending to not find the whole thing the funniest he's seen in as long as he can remember. Tears are literally streaming down his face. Dom is prepared to laugh along, before he sorts himself out enough to catch the look in Elijah’s eyes.

"You are such a fucking asshole, Dom."

Normally, Dom knows when to admit a prank has gone sour, and how to rush in with the apology before any bad feelings develop. But he's still so warm and good-humoured from all the vodka tonics with lime, so instead he says, "Aww, don't be a baby, Lijah."

Dom tucks his prick away, and tries to stand, holding onto the table and the couch for support. "It’s just a bit of fun between mates. You’d have died laughing if it'd been my balls in Bill's mouth."

"Don’t get any ideas, Dom..." Billy interjects, loudly.

"Fun?" Elijah’s got a vein on the side of his forehead that Dom didn't know about and even Billy stops talking abruptly. "You had your nuts in my mouth!" Elijah’s eyes are wider than normal.

And he shouldn't laugh. He knows he shouldn't laugh, but Dom is a wanker when he's drunk. And so he does; just a blip of a giggle that slips out before he can stop it.

Elijah’s eyes widen further still, until Dom can imagine an eyeball popping clean of the socket and landing on the floor. Wow, that's morbid, Dom thinks, before he realises he's gone off on a tangent and Elijah is still very, very pissed off at him.

Elijah turns to Billy. "I’m going to bed. Tell him to stay away from me, Billy."

Billy tries to put an arm around Elijah, "Come on, Lij. You know how Dom is. Let him apologise."

But Elijah throws off Billy's hand and storms off toward the stairs. "Fuck his apology. We have Feet in, like, four hours. I’m going to bed." He goes off up the stairs, leaving Billy staring after him, and Dom struggling back into his trousers.

He scoffs, "If I’d thought he'd be such a cunt about it, I’d never have done it."

Billy shakes his head, as he retrieves the camera from where it landed on the floor in the commotion. "Liar. You’d have only done it sooner."

Dom falls onto the sofa Elijah has only just evacuated, and sprawls with his limbs splayed. He can feel himself crashing, and he knows it's time to start sleeping it off.

"Happy Birthday, Dommie," Billy says as he kills the light on the way from the room.

Dom only sighs a bit, and he's asleep before he knows it.


It’s not until lunch the next day that Dom fully realizes exactly how pissed off Elijah is at him. Dom drops into the chair next to Orli, and he reaches over to steal a chip from Elijah's plate. Elijah shoots him an honest-to-god glare, pushes the plate away and leaves the tent to have a smoke outside.

Dom’s face scrunches up, as Orli says, "Shit, Dom. What'd you do to Doodle?"


It’s really obvious how much Orlando doesn't believe him. "Dom, that's not true. He was fine ‘til you sat down. What’d you do?"

Orli has his serious face on and Dom decides to tell him before he unwittingly alienates another member of the Fellowship. "Fine. Last night, I, erm. I tea-bagged him." In the bright afternoon light, it sounds pretty bad, even Dom can admit. But only to himself. Orlando's eyes go wide, and then small, and if it were anyone other than Orli, Dom would actually be intimidated.

"I can't believe you would do that! To him, of all people."

"What’s the big fucking deal? I’d do it to all of you - it was fucking hilarious. And now he's making a big fuss about it. It was...funny." Dom sighs, "It was supposed to be funny."

"You don't get it, Dom. You shouldn't have done that. Not to Elijah."

Dom waits for some elaboration, but Orlando just drains his bottle of water, and leaves Dom alone at the table. Dom drops his forehead to the table in front of him.



It’s not until after filming that day that Dom manages to get Elijah alone in the hobbit trailer.

"What do you want, Dom?" Elijah fidgets his hand into his front pocket and works his lighter free.

"I owe you an apology." Dom’s hands have gone all fidgety and he tugs at the hem of his tshirt. "It was just supposed to be a joke. A photo and a funny story to tell. Like that time at the beach when Viggo convinced Orli that you were supposed to pee on a sand crab bite to get the swelling to stop, and Orli was going to let Viggo piss on his foot before Billy started laughing and gave..."

Dom digs a nail into his palm to stop himself rambling as he notes with some trepidation that Elijah is still staring at him, face hard and unforgiving.

"Shit, Doodle, it was just a joke! Can’t you just laugh it off?"

Elijah inhales through his nose. "That’s the fucking problem, Dom. Everything with you and me is just a fucking joke!" his tone mocking.

Dom frowns, “I really am sorry. But we’ve always been so touchy-feely and close… I swear you’ll never see me naked again. I won’t touch you. Whatever you want – I just don’t want things to be weird.”

Elijah doesn’t seem too impressed with Dom’s apology. “You just don’t get it. I can’t believe you think this is about what you did last night.”

Fucking hell, Dom thinks as he rubs at his face is exasperation. "Don’t get what? Elijah, if you have something to tell me, you have to just tell me! I’m not a bloody mind reader. You’re frustrating the hell out of me."

Elijah moves toward him suddenly, and for one long second, Dom thinks Elijah might actually hit him. Another letter home he never wants to write: "Dear Mum and Dad, today Elijah Wood socked me in the eye because I put my balls in his mouth..." and then Dom is distracted because Elijah is very much in his personal space. Dom flinches and, just like that, Elijah is kissing him.

Elijah’s hand grasps at his neck, his lighter slips forgotten to the floor, and his eyes are screwed shut. Dom inhales through his nose, and opens his mouth to the tentative searching of Elijah’s tongue. The inside of Elijah’s mouth is warm and smoky, and Dom’s heart rate skyrockets. His fingers clutch reflexively at Elijah’s waist, and he slips one of his hands just under the hem of Elijah’s jumper to touch the hot skin at his hip.

"No more joking, Dom." Elijah says, when he pulls away, face flushed and lip trembling.

Dom can only imagine the look of utter shock on his own face. He nods dumbly, while his mind reels. Elijah kisses him again, another soft press of dry lips and the slow drag of Elijah’s tongue in his mouth.

Dom licks his lips, and says, "I’m not laughing."

Elijah smiles a little, and tucks into Dom’s body to kiss him again. They stumble together, feet tripping up, and move until Dom’s back is pressed to the wall of the trailer. Dom’s hands are firmly on Elijah’s waist, and Elijah’s fingers alternately tug at Dom’s hair and slide down over his neck and jaw.

Between kisses, Dom whispers, "You could have told me before."

"I’m telling you now."

Dom smiles.


Concept created by Megolas in 2002
Fabulous artwork ©2002 by Hope.
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Site revised ©2006 by yueni