Sekrit Slasha

Slasha, Baby is the LOTR RPS Fanfiction holiday fic exchange. This story depicts real-life public figures engaged in completely fictional, false and untrue activities. It never happened. This story is a work of fantasy and satire which in no way professes to express the truth about the life, thoughts, feelings, desires, opinions, beliefs, activities or sexual orientation of any person mentioned herein.

The Sun Beyond My Ken

Title: The Sun Beyond My Ken
Recipient: slashababy dropout
Pairing: Karl Urban/Orlando Bloom
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Whilst filming in New Zealand, Orlando turns out not to be as he first appears.
Notes: There is a bit of tweaking with ancient legends from New Zealand in this story.

And lastly, scientists in New Zealand have reported a strange phenomenon. It appears the country has been hit by a localised change, being attributed to global warming. The days there are slowly but steadily losing around a minute every couple of months. Local experts in environmental changes can find no other reason for this and are planning to consult other scientists from across the globe. Now we return to Rob Vaughan for the sports news...


The first day, the day when everyone got to know everyone else. The day when he should have been revealed. But nothing happened. The day came and went without there being any great revelations.

Lawrence and Karl stood in the pub, gloomily regarding almost the entire cast and crew of the most ambitious movie project ever, the filming of Tolkien's hitherto unfilmable Lord of the Rings.

"Now what?" Lawrence asked, taking a sidelong glance at Karl who was chewing his thumbnail.

"He must be here. He must be. I did everything right, I couldn't have made a mistake, what the hell will we do if he isn't here?" If he was wrong, the consequences would be unthinkable.

"Maybe it's too early, maybe we have to wait."

"May bees never fly in summer," a third voice interrupted them. "I'm Orlando..."

The men turned to the newcomer, a skinny guy, dark hairs, dark eyes, young. Very young. Karl sighed. He hadn't time for this.

"I'm Karl and this is Lawrence."

"Are you two an item?" Orlando went where angels fear to tread, unflinching.

"Excuse me? Lawrence growled. "What the hell..."

"No," Karl interrupted quickly.

"Good," Orlando beamed at them, he took a pen out of his pocket and scribbled a number on Karl's arm. "That's my phone number..." and he was gone in a cloud of cheap aftershave.

"Tell me he's not the one," Lawrence groaned.

"No, no he's not, at least I don't think he is." Karl sighed. "Look there's no point in worrying about it, when it happens, it will happen." He ordered another round of drinks and changed the subject.


Making this movie was turning out to be more problematic, more stressful, than Peter Jackson had ever dreamt it possibly could be. A project this big was always going to create a certain amount of headaches. But to lose one of your lead actors? Now that was the biggest headache of all. However much it hurt, Peter reluctantly let Stuart go; in his place though, came Viggo.

The ripple effect on the assembled team was quite astounding. It was as if the whole project begun to pull together with the arrival of their Aragorn. Everyone sat up, took notice; imperceptibly, the bar was raised. The film sprung into life.

It was another evening; same bar, same suspects. Karl and Lawrence watched Viggo stalking Orlando, discussed the situation which was now becoming desperate.

"It must be Viggo, it must be," Lawrence was arguing. "Who else could it be? I ask you, who?"

Orlando was playing darts with the hobbits. His aim was amazing; he was wiping the floor with all comers.

"Last week, Orlando beat everyone at pool," Karl remarked. He was watching the slim figure, the boy who frequently fell over his own feet.

"Well it certainly isn't him," Lawrence was sure of that. Karl didn't reply, he was watching Orlando, who turned around as if he felt himself being watched. He winked at Karl and might have come over had he not been accosted by Viggo.

"You're right." Karl shook his head. He rather liked this addition to their company. Had he not been so preoccupied, he might have made a play for Viggo. But there was no time for dalliance. Time was marching on. And besides, despite telling himself he wasn't interested in Orlando, he couldn't help watching him, watching how he went from graceful to clumsy in a heartbeat.

"Let's take him up to the lake, see what happens," Lawrence was convinced Viggo was their man. There was something so otherworldly about him. His thoughts were interrupted by a ruckus at the occe. Orlando was scarlet and clearly upset. The hobbits were in uproar. Karl strode into their midst, anxious to avoid a big scene.

"Bloody Viggo," Elijah was clearly annoyed. "We were in the middle of a game and he's being a right knob." Elijah was hanging out with a lot of Brits. "And bothering Orli and he goosed him just as he was about to throw and his dart nearly took Ian's eye out."

Ian was absolutely furious. "If you can't bloody well control your arrows better than that," he stormed. "Then don't play where you can damn near blind someone." He might have been exaggerating a little, but there wasn't a brave enough man to contradict him.

"Okay, well, Ian, you're not blinded, Orlando, stop looking like you've been violated, and Viggo," Karl turned to him, trying not to stare, trying to see if he really was missing something. "Viggo, come and talk to Lawrence and me, there's something we'd like to discuss with you."

He didn't give the hobbits, nor Orlando, time to argue, sweeping Viggo away, and keeping up a gentle flow of small talk until the three of them were out of earshot.

"We've got a weekend off coming up, have you plans?" Lawrence asked.

"Yeah I'm going to get Orlando Bloom into my bed."

Karl couldn't help feeling a pang of regret. He rather wished he was the one Viggo was lusting after, although increasingly he was recognising not only how gorgeous Orlando was, but also what a genuinely nice guy he was too. On the other hand, all that would have to wait. He had things to do.

"How about you postpone your conquest and come out with us? There's a beautiful lake you can only get to on horseback. The scenery is stunning and we thought..."

In fairness to Viggo, he wasn't all about his cock. His interest was piqued. The artist in him was able to put thoughts of pretty boys to one side if there was the promise of beauty, of wonderful light to be had.

"The light Vig." Lawrence murmured. "It's ethereal, almost unreal."

Karl glared at him. "He's right Viggo, do say you'll come."

"Ooooh can I come too?" Orlando didn't mean to eavesdrop. He'd come over because Karl drew him like a magnet. "I'd love to go there, if I may, I mean..." he broke off, blushing with embarrassment. Karl was looking at him like he'd just crawled from under a stone. "I'm sorry..."

"No, I'd love it, we'd love it if you came with us," Viggo couldn't believe his luck. Inspiration and a good fuck. Could it get much better?"

"Can you ride Orlando?" Lawrence was of the opinion that if this boy could persuade Viggo to come with them, it'd be worth it. They could always 'lose' said boy for a little while. Long enough to confirm who and what Viggo was.

"Course I can, " Orlando sounded offended. "I wouldn't be here if I couldn't ride."

"Then we'll meet at the stables on Saturday morning, early Saturday morning. Let's say 6am."

Karl had had enough. They would deal with Orlando when they had to but if he was the bait that brought Viggo out into the open, then it was a price worth paying.


The morning started off badly. It wasn't Orlando who was late, but Viggo.

Karl arrived first. Nervous and excited, he had woken way too early. There was something niggling him but he couldn't pin it down. He was standing in the shadows, lost in thought when Orlando quietly opened the door and slipped in. He didn't notice Karl at first; instead he headed for the big ugly nag, as the stable hands were wont to call him, an ungainly horse, who no one could remember acquiring, called Star. Star was also bad tempered so he wasn't used very much; his saving grace was his incredible strength. He could carry the largest of men with no difficulty. It was for this reason they kept the strange misfit animal.

It was as if Orlando saw something different though. He walked through the door, looking eagerly around him. A soft wicker drew his attention to the corner where Star was standing in his stall.

"Oh...." Orlando dropped his pack and ran over the stone floor, to throw his arms around the horse's neck. "My beautiful baby," he murmured, kissing the horse who seemed to Karl's eyes, to be almost laughing. For a moment, the light played a trick on his eyes. He could've sworn that rather than the broken down nag who usually stood there, he saw a beautiful thoroughbred with an expression of great sweetness on his noble face. He gasped aloud at which Orlando turned round so quickly, it made Karl feel dizzy.

"What's going on?" Karl asked. He had the feeling that something was eluding him, was just out of his reach but for the life of him, couldn't see what it might be.

"Going on?" Orlando smiled then turned back to the horse who seemed as equally pleased to see Orlando, as Orlando was to see him. "Nothing is going on, I'm going to ride Star, if it pleases Star to let me ride him," he added.

"You're taking your elvishness too seriously," Lawrence remarked, coming in and dropping his own pack onto the floor.

Shrugging, Orlando turned back to the horse, opening the door to the stall and letting Star walk out.

Karl watched him closely. He turned to Lawrence. "Do you think we've got the wrong man, I mean just look at him, it's like..."

"No. I think Vig's our man."

"I think I'm the man for you," Orlando wasn't supposed to hear them and they both turned guiltily. Today wasn't going as planned. Viggo was late, yet here was Orlando, a skinny English boy of 19 who had no business turning up and throwing everything awry.

"For you, Karl," Orlando added, his grin as cheeky as you like but the expression in his eyes making Karl's stomach turn over. He had no idea what was going on now, and almost he wished they weren't taking Viggo at all. Could Orlando be the one after all? could have misjudged so completely? He was beginning to wonder whether he'd been blind to the truth.

The door banged, making Karl and Lawrence jump.

"Sorry I'm late - I had to kick Sean out of bed and then he wanted to come with us, don't worry, he isn't but I had to be a bit brutal, had to tell him I was sharing a sleeping bag with Orlando," he grinned.

"In your dreams, Vig," Orlando rolled his eyes. "Now, are we actually going or are we going to stand here all day..."

"Playing hard to get," Viggo muttered under his breath, while Karl and Lawrence tacked up the horses they were riding. Orlando led Star out of the stables. By the time the other three joined him, it was nearly 7.

"Watch that horse," Lawrence warned Orlando. "He's a bit moody and..."

"There isn't a horse on earth I can't ride." There was scorn in Orlando's voice, he coughed. "Sorry, that sounded rude, let's just go shall we?" He sounded more like himself, more like a slightly gauche, rather gawky lad who was making his first big movie. But again, Karl caught a look in his eye and, for the umpteenth time, shivered. There was no time to worry about it though, they had a way to ride and it was turning into a beautiful day. They made good time, cutting across open countryside, along a track not suitable for any vehicle but perfect for the horses.

For once Viggo was quiet. He was enjoying the scenery, the artistic part of his soul silencing the alley cat. He barely noticed Orlando, or the others; instead his lips moved silently as if he was speaking to someone only he could see.

Karl was still uneasy, he found himself next to Orlando and was impressed at the easy way he rode Star who had shown no sign of his usual bad temper.

"I've never seen him so..."

"Contented?" Orland finished for him.

"Well -- yeah -- he's usually so cranky."

"He's not cranky, he's sad, he's been missing his...

"His what, Orlando?"

"He's been missing me." There, Orlando has said it.

"W-w-what do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean, Karl, so tell me, what is it that you want from me?"

"Are you..."


It was as if time stood still. Karl just stared at Orlando. It seemed to him, as if the slim, dark haired boy had metamorphosised into something altogether larger, more powerful. Star was like a horse of the Gods, which of course he was. Karl just looked, realising how stupid both he and Lawrence had been.

"Lord," he begun.

"No, none of that, I walk your realm as Orlando Bloom -- for now but," he sighed sadly, "not for long -- so let's keep it that way," he turned and glanced behind. "We must hurry, we must be through the gap before Viggo catches us up, follow me..." He gave Karl no opportunity to respond, murmuring quietly to Star who picked up speed.

Karl followed as best he could. His horse struggled to keep up, hooves clattering along at such a pace, Karl thought he might be unseated. By the time they caught up, they'd gone faster than he thought possible.

"Orlando," he called. "What about Lawrence and Viggo?"

"What about them?" Orlando jumped down from Star's back. "Look around, can you see them?"

He begun to laugh as Karl turned and found, much to his surprise, that they were apparently alone. The land looked the same but different. For the first time, he felt a little afraid.

Slithering off his horse's back, he dropped down to one knee. "Lord..." he murmured.

"What did I say to you?" Orlando held his hand out. "Stand, I can't kiss you if you're down there."

"Kiss me, Lord?"


"Kiss me, Orlando?"

"Certainly," and suiting the action to the word, Orlando dropped down and pressed his lips against Karl's, kissing him softly. "Now..." he remembered they were here for a purpose. "Why did you call me?"

"Sir, you alone walk both this world and the world of the Gods," Karl glanced up into Orlando's face, saw age, wisdom and the eyes of the demigod Maui looking back at him. "You -- I thought you were dead..."

Orlando's expression seemed to falter. He looked sad.

"I am dead, insofar as you understand death, and yet I'm here..."

Karl tried to understand; it was difficult, he felt overwhelmed by all that was happening, but this was not the time to ask for an explanation. He needed Orlando's help, was hoping Orlando would be able to do something for him.

"Lord -- Orlando -- " Now it was time to ask for his favour, Karl wondered what on earth he'd been thinking of. What right did he have to ask a demigod for a boon? He stared at Orlando's feet.

"You called to me, you asked for my help, here I am," Orlando spoke gently. "Now ask away before I lose patience."

"Lord, it's the sun..."

"The sun?"

"Yes lord, we -- those of us who follow the old ways -- "

"Is Tamu-nui-te-Ra forgetting his promise?"

"Yes lord, the days are getting slower, and we ... we fear..."

"I know," Orlando tapped his foot thoughtfully. "It would seem I must seek out my net, pay a visit to my old friend and remind him what happens when he reneges on a bargain."

"You'll do that? I mean..."

"Yes Karl, I'll do it, I knew you were trying to find me, though why you think I'd take Viggo as my disguise...."

"Because he's so -- I don't know, we just thought he -- well he's an artist and he understands nature.

"You know Orlando really likes you and Viggo doesn't. Viggo will fuck you and leave you but if you wanted him, Orlando would make you a good boyfriend."

"I don't understand, you are Orlando aren't you?"

"No, well yes and no, I am Maui, you called me and I am here but once my job is done, I will leave. Orlando will remain. He likes you very much."

"And he won't remember any of this?"

"Not properly, he might recall an echo, the faintest recall of something vaguely familiar but not enough to trouble him or give him nightmare."

"Will I?"

There was a long pause. Orlando didn't answer. Turning away, Karl tried to quell the feeling of great sadness. "What about Lawrence?"

"You and Orlando will return to them and it will be like this never happened."

"What if we make love? Will Orlando remember that?"


"When this is done..."


"I mean before we go back?"


"Does Orlando top or bottom."


"So do I."

"I know." Orlando sounded both affectionate and impatient at the same time. He loved the human race with all their quirks and foibles. Orlando hadn't just been chosen for this job; he'd volunteered just as Lawrence and Karl had. He was as much a follower of the old ways as they were. But even before all this started, Orlando had been watching Karl, wanting to get to know him better.

"I'm sorry," Karl looked a bit sheepish, he touched Orlando's arm. "Now what happens?"

"Now, you and I get up on Star's back and we ride, ride until we can ride no more and we collect my net and set the trap."

"Can Star carry us both?"

"Yes, easily," Orlando held his hand out. "Star, you know where we need to go, and we must go fast, my sweet, very fast."

As they rode, faster and faster, Karl couldn't help being aware of the warmth of Orlando's back pressed against his front. He couldn't help regretting that he wouldn't remember travelling this fast on a horse, taking part in the biggest adventure of his life.

"Stop thinking so loud, you're disturbing me." Orlando looked over his shoulder. "You'll remember the sensation, it'll come to you in your dreams, when you're deeply asleep, when you're wrapped around my warmth..." Almost it sounded like Maui regretted that he couldn't be there, that he would return to where he came from, walking the land between the two worlds.

"And what happens now? Will I be able to watch?"

"I'm sorry but you cannot. Watching the sun being ensnared would blind you, would burn the most terrible images into your brain. I am going to leave you with Star. When it is done, he will let you mount him, and ride to where I will be waiting.

Karl opened his mouth but Orlando cut him off. "No," he spoke sternly and Karl could feel the power thrumming through him. "You will do as I say."

"Yes Lord -- I mean yes Orlando." There was no more to be said.


"You've been gone for hours." Karl slithered off Star and gathered Orlando into his arms. "Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not, I'm bloody knackered," Orlando slumped into the strong arms that were holding him up. "I gotta sleep."

Karl lowered himself, and Orlando, to the ground, Orlando snuggled against him, and within moments was asleep. Karl stayed as still as he could until he too, fell asleep.

When he awoke, it was to find his cock encased in the most wonderful mouth he'd ever experienced. He groaned as he was tongued, as sharp teeth grazed him, as he felt himself swallowed. It was over far too quickly, his orgasm exploding out of him. He might have shouted out loud, he didn't know.

"Lift your legs up," a soft voice instructed him. And as if it were a dream, Karl did, he couldn't remember taking his clothes off but he was naked, as was Orlando and he prayed he'd never forget that moment when his body was breached, that sharp pain that immediately morphed into something else. He prayed he'd never forget how Orlando expertly reamed him, how he was laid bare for Orlando, legs wide, wide apart.

He prayed he'd never forget the kisses, the sort of kisses that seared his very soul, the intensity of it leaving him unable to do anything other than follow where Orlando led.

The moment Orlando came, an expression of bliss, of pain, of sadness and maybe of love? All those emotions washed over Karl and to his surprise, he found he was weeping.

"Orlando..." he murmured, as this time it was Karl who was gathered into the warm embrace of a lover.

"I'm here, I've got you, go to sleep again," and deep down Karl knew that this was it. He'd never see Maui again. The deed was done. The sun would rise and fall at his allotted time and the scientists who'd gathered in New Zealand from all over the world, would go home scratching their heads.

"Will I see you again?"

"Just once, I'll come to you once more."

"Thank you..." Karl whispered as he fell asleep.


Scientists are perplexed by the latest developments. It appears the minutes lost over the last few months have mysteriously been found. The sun is back on track, rising and setting as it should. No one can explain how this has happened but the general consensus is it must surely be a freak occurrence of nature. Now we go over to Rob Vaughan to find out how Australia are doing in the opening innings of their match against England...

"Oy, wake up you great gimp," Orlando's voice filtered through his dreams. Karl opened his eyes. He was in bed. He sat up and yawned. "I seem to have overslept..." he frowned. "Weren't we going to go..."

"Nah, it got cancelled, we're all due on set. Pete said no one could get hold of you so I volunteered to come over and get you, just so as I could see you naked of course," he broke off grinning.

"I thought..." Karl frowned. "And why do you wanna see me naked?"

"Cos I really, really fancy you, and Karl? You really would be better off with me, Vig's a great bloke but I'm sure he fancies Sean and Sean deffo fancies him but I've wanted..." he shrugged. "You know what I mean."

"C'mere..." Karl realised he had been a gimp. There was more to Orlando than met the eye, still waters running very deep and all that. He held his hand out, smiling when he realised Orlando's firm grip belied his appearance. "Won't matter if we're a bit late..."



When Karl and Orlando got married in 2014, it was the happiest day of their lives. They returned to the place they'd first met, finally visiting to the beautiful lake Karl and Lawrence had planned on taking Viggo to, all those years ago.

"Did you and Lawrence argue? You were never as close again." Orlando remarked, picking up a stone and expertly sending it skimming across the water.

"I don't know. It felt -- it just felt like we were done. Besides, he met Louise just after you and me got together and his priorities changed," he grinned, remembering how shocked Lawrence had been when he discovered he was going to be a father to twins.

"I guess..." Orlando turned, stepping into Karl's arms. "I love you," he looked into eyes as dark as his own and Karl felt a thrill of something, a feeling of -- of coming home. There was something in Orlando's eyes that made him go weak at the knees, he felt like Orlando had suddenly grown a foot and he'd shrunk. He clung to his husband. The feeling passed.

"I love you..." Orlando's voice sounded like him, yet not, like someone altogether different. "I loved you from the moment I first saw you, the moment you called me -- and I will love you always...


slashababy was created by megolas, revised by yueni
fabulous artwork 2002 by Hope
now moderated by MSilverstar & feelforfaith