Slashababy 2004 Stories
| FANFICTION: This story depicts real-life public figures engaged in completely fictional, false and untrue activities. It never happened, it never will happen. This story is a work of fantasy and satire which in no way professes to express the truth about the life, thoughts, feelings, desires, opinions, beliefs, activities or sexual orientation of any person mentioned herein. |
for mjjgoddess
by mixmasterhobbit
Rating: R- to be safe- I used the f-word, oopps!
Pairing: Dom/Elijah Billy
Summary: a series of phone messages as left by one, billy boyd
Disclaimer: honestly people, if I owned any of them do you think I'd be wasting my free time writing stories? I think not. Oh, and the song quoted is Crestfallen by the smashing pumpkins- they rock my socks off
Author's note: a very original title I know. Written for mjjgoddess as part of the secret-slasha...thing. I'm not so good at writing angst yet- I hope this makes you happy...or sad...or whatever. Happy holidays!
8:39 pm
Hi Dom. It's me... Billy. ...so I guess you're not there. Must have gone out. Yeah... LA's great for that kinda thing isn't it? Yeah, great. Sorry, I'm rambling. Anyways...I was just calling to tell you... well, to... oh nevermind.
8:42 pm
I love you. Oh shit... No, no I don't! I don't know why I just said that. Sorry.
9:01 pm
Ok, yes I do. I'll just come right out and say it. I love you Dominic Monaghan. I love you. I've loved you for as long as I can remember. From that first day we met. The day my life began. But what am I saying, you don't care. You've no reason to care. You've got Elijah. Wonderful, perfect, make everyone his bitch, Elijah Wood.
9:12 pm
OK, that was a wee bit harsh. Fine, I'm jealous Dom. Jealous of the way you look at him knowing that you will never look that way at me. So many times Dom, I feel like we're having an intimate moment, like everything's back the way it used to be, and then you rush off to him and it's like I was never there at all.
And it hurts Dom, it fucking hurts. And the pain gets so intense that I just want to scream my heart out and then curl up and dissolve. You've done this to me. This is your fault.
I hate you Dom.
9:16 pm
No. No, that's not true. I don't hate you. How could I ever hate you when you mean so much to me? Because you do Dom, you mean everything to me and more. It's not your fault I'm this fucked up. I'm just... tired. I'm tired of acting like a fool, throwing myself at you over and over again, and coming back empty handed. I'm sorry.
9:35 pm
Who am I to need you now,
To ask you why, to tell you no
To deserve your love and sympathy
You were never meant to belong
to me.
That's become my favourite song of late. It's kind of the anthem of my life. Because my life is you Dom. I want you so bad, but you were never meant to belong to me.
9:48 pm
I wrote you a letter, Dom, on the last day of filming, telling you everything I'm telling you now. But instead of giving it to you I tore it up into tiny pieces and threw them into the fire. And I watched them spiral, one by one, into the flames, like the tattered fragments of my soul. That letter was my heart. I destroyed it, just like you have destroyed me.
9:57 pm
I once told you "tol gaol agam ort" 'I love you Dom.' I revealed my soul to you, but you couldn't understand. How could you, with him clouding your thoughts.
You are everything to me. And I am nothing to you. And so it should be, if that's what makes you happy. I want you to be happy Dom.
10: 11 pm
I'm sorry I couldn't tell you this in person, but I couldn't bear to see the look in your eyes, to hear the pity in your voice, or worse, the anger. I don't even know why I'm telling you all this now. I guess I wanted so badly for you to understand.
10: 15 pm
I don't expect to ever hear from you again after this and I'm sorry. But I guess that's how it should be. After all, this is just another tragic story of unattainable love.
10:20 pm
Billy? It's Dom. I got your messages. Are you there? OK, well, just call me later. Bye.
10:22 pm
Billy- I love you too.