Slashababy 2004 Stories

  FANFICTION: This story depicts real-life public figures engaged in completely fictional, false and untrue activities. It never happened, it never will happen. This story is a work of fantasy and satire which in no way professes to express the truth about the life, thoughts, feelings, desires, opinions, beliefs, activities or sexual orientation of any person mentioned herein.


for kraken_wakes
by owlgrey

PAIRING: Elijah/Dom
SUMMARY: Dom has a problem with Elijah's dress sense.
CONTENT/WARNING: Some stripping.
DISCLAIMER: This story is 100% fiction. These events never happened.
BETA: Widdershin who I think thought she would never have to Beta this Hobbit pairing!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thanks to jaddziadaz, perianella, mailea and bandwench who helped with some 'fan comments'. Love you guys! This was written for kraken_wakes as part of the secret slasha project. I hope you enjoy it

"Come on Lij, if we get a move on we'll be able to have a few drinks before the event," Dom was not one to be on time usually but this 'Lost' event meant a lot to him. It was a chance to mix with some of his fellow cast members, and word had it a lot of press were going to be there. The whole idea of the night made Dom feel as though he had gotten somewhere big with his career. He didn't really like all the Hollywood schmoozing, but knew at times it was necessary. Everyone has to sell their soul at one time or another for the sake of work.

Elijah finally emerged from his room, sucking characteristically on a cigarette as he pulled at his hair in a vain attempt to make it cooperate.

" that how you're going?" Dom asked, trying hard not to scrunch up his face.

"I know Dommy, it's this fucking hair. It's just like...everywhere today. I tried some of that 'product' you use, but my hair seemed to like eat it up. It had no effect whatsoever." Elijah pulled at his hair again, and then gave up, "Oh well, I'll just have to go looking like some mutant from a boy band I suppose."

"It's not your hair Lij. It's ummm...what you're wearing. It's well...I can't find words really." Dom could find words but they all involved 'fuck', and not in a good way. So he decided not to use them.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Lij said, looking up and down at himself as much as he could manage. "This is one of my favourite outfits."

"One of your grandpa's favourites more like," Dom muttered under his breath.

"I heard that Dominic Monaghan! I have very good hearing you know. Plus I can lip read... all these years in the entertainment business give you skills like that you know." Elijah's usual boyish mood had been replaced by petulant annoyance. Uncooperative hair and a battle with product had marred him and he wasn't ready to give in to a critical Dom.

"It's called retro Dom, and it's all the rage. I happen to think I look quite cool." Elijah went to run his hand through his hair to emphasis his point, but stopped himself. His hair wasn't quite a good feature to be drawing attention to at the moment.

"Retro huh? Well, that suit jacket must be retrospective indeed. Retro mothball I'd say. I think the whole thing would look a bit less 'obvious' retro if you lost it." Dom suddenly realised his words had been a little harsh, so he tempered them with, "Anyway Lij, it's gonna be warm in there. You won't need a jacket."

But the damage was done. Elijah could feel his face heating up as he said venomously, "You don't really need to be quite so 'try hard' with that black nail polish, but it didn't stop you did it?"

"OK," replied Dom, his voice rising, "you lose the jacket, I'll lose the nail polish," he said storming into the bathroom. After a few 'you've moved everything, where's the fucking remover?'s he returned, waving his now naked nails in the air.

"Happy?" he yelled at Elijah.

"This better without the jacket?" Elijah responded.

"Slightly better," Dom conceded, still angry at the loss of his beloved nail polish.

"I'll have you know the fans think my style of dressing is 'unique', Elijah continued, not one to lose an argument. "So you're messing with 'unique' Dom."

"Unique bullshit more like," retorted Dom.

"I can fucking show you then!" Elijah wheeled around, nearly losing his balance, and marched to the study. He thumped the 'on' button of the computer into action, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for it to fire up.

"Lij, we really don't have time for this," Dom called through to him. The plea was lost on Elijah, who was logging in then searching through his favourites for a particular fansite. He hadn't ever let Dom know he searched these but he had a point to make, and was determined to make it.

"Aagh, here we go." He ran back out and grabbed Dom's arm to drag him into the study and before the computer screen.

"There we black and white...'retro and sexy as hell'...a fan's description of me." Elijah's finger traced the words pointedly.

"I'm more interested in the comment here about the 'fuck ugly striped shirt and a clashing tie he had to have inherited when someone's grandpa died'. Ten points to that young lady for fashion sense." Dom was starting to get edgy about the time, but was not one to give in on an argument. It was a rare occurrence for him and Lij to argue, but when they did neither of them was willing to give in.

"Right then!" Lij tore the tie off, undid the first couple of buttons and pulled the shirt over his head roughly. He realised he had probably worsened his hair if that was possible, but pride stopped him from caring too much.

"So Dom, are you going to do something about that Fellowship t shirt? It's a bit much making another political statement isn't it? We'll be calling you Bono soon." Elijah actually loved Dom's Fellowship t shirt, but the loss of his tie and shirt were still smarting. He wanted Dom to feel just as silly standing there half naked.

With a 'Bono indeed' Dom pulled the t shirt over his head and flung it on the floor.

"Now that I'm looking down Lij, I can't help but notice those elephant's-ass jeans. Have you heard of a fitting room mate? You look like the littlest hobo. But of course you'd have to remove the bowling shoes first. You're supposed to return them when you go bowling Lij, not use them as a fashion accessory." Dom laughed. He was on a roll, that was a nice line he just got out.

Elijah dutifully knelt down to unlace his shoes, but not before replying, "I seem to remember you and Billy taking a much more than natural interest in shoes Dom. One word Dom...Camper...two more words Dom...smelling shoes. As he unzipped his fly to pull down his so called elephant's-ass jeans he added, "Stone wash jeans Dom...very 70s".

Dom looked down. The little bugger, how did he remember he was wearing the shoes he got at Camper? And he and Billy were not smelling shoes they were...

"Fuck it!" he grumbled as he too removed his shoes. Stone wash wasn't seventies, but he took of the jeans as well...just in case they were.

They stood facing each other, each of them wearing nothing but their socks and a pair of undies. Dom suddenly started to laugh out loud.

"Star Wars boxers Lij! Did your mummy buy you those for Christmas?"

Elijah was very fond of his Star Wars boxers. They were quite striking with Darth Maul in red and black. He looked down at Dom's choice in underwear, and thought of the perfect retort.

"They call those dick poppers in Australia you know," he said simply pointing at Dom's blue underwear.

"OK, I'll lose the dick poppers if you lose Hans Solo there." Dom replied.

"Darth Maul," Elijah corrected. He pulled his boxers off and waved them in Dom's face, 'it's Darth Maul Dom."

Dom fluttered his hand at the boxers in annoyance, and then pulled his jocks down to around his ankles.

"So, anything wrong with the socks Mr. Fashion Sense?" asked Elijah, pointing downwards dramatically.

"You're totally starkers!" was all Dom could say, his eyes roving over Elijah's naked frame.

"And fucking cold I might add," Elijah replied.

"No...fucking hot," Dom corrected, licking his lips.

"Really?" Elijah smiled.

"Oh yeah!" Dom purred, moving in closer.

"You don't look too bad yourself without those dick poppers on," Elijah smiled, brushing his hand across Dom's cock.

"Quite an attractive pair I'd say," Dom laughed.

"You talking about us...or my..." Elijah grinned.

"Both," Dom said, cheekily squeezing Elijah's balls before taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom, "Let's forget the promo for now huh? I think it would be nice to be fashionably late."



Slashababy 2004 Stories