Slasha, Baby 2007

In the days when all was new and we were made new, too

Recipient: waqaychay
Author: slashfairy
Pairing: Billy/Dom/Elijah/Sean Astin
Rating: R
Summary: Hobbitpile. "The smuttier the better." You've been warned...
Author Notes: I do have some fondness and respect for Sean Astin in this role. So, it seems, do his fellow Hobbits.
Post-Reveal Notes: beta stormatdusk


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They must have done that damn hobbitpile a hundred times. Always piling up on Astin, always someone farting in someone's face (though only Elijah's memorialized on film, or eulogized in the commentary on the DVD). Always someone half-hard from the contact, the wrestling in place or the wrestling to get up, get on one's feet, brush off the dirt, and toss off the red in one's face as being from the exertion and not the attractions.

It'd been fun though, rolling the last couple of feet, falling onto each other for some shots, or lying carefully in place as the next one laid himself atop- an exercise in both patience and creativity, to get the shots to match, to get those moments of "Oh NO!" and "Whoa!" and "Oh, *giggle* " to merge into the hobbity delight that the pile had to be in the end. When Pete said, "That's good, that's done, then," they'd all cheered, helped each other up, dusted each other off (to costuming's dismay- costuming always wanted to do the dusting off, to keep things in trim for continuity, but sometimes it just felt good to do it for each other) and headed, gratefully, back to the trailer to be de-hobbited.

Back in the trailer, oddly enough, it was Billy who was the least self-conscious about nudity, partial or full. As long as the makeup people didn't mind, he didn't either- he'd strip off costume and hand it over to its handlers and stand there starkers, then remember where he'd left his streets and put them on slowly. Often he'd entertain with a bump-and-grind, or a bit of a Scottish dance, and have them all in stitches by the time he was dressed.

Astin was the most shy. Even before becoming Sam he'd been shy, he told them, the result of being a fat kid in school in Los Angeles, a city not known for its kindness to the un-model models of people. Every day he'd come into the makeup trailer in Sam's britches and shirt, but with his own cap on, and pulled down a bit, and with his robe (very clearly the one-size-fits-all mantra only extends so far) pulled around him until he absolutely had to let go of it.

Dom and Lij, being young and adventurous and slightly (slightly?) mental, were in between. Not that either'd parade around naked, but then again, if the chance came to flash their naughty bits and make everyone giggle, they'd take it. Smutty jokes became standard fare, as well as naughty songs and ridiculous pictures and pornish movies, until pretty much nothing was outside the limits as far as talking about it went.

Doing, though- that took a bit more figuring out.

It was Billy, again, who took the lead- he decided that it was a crime that a fellow as good-hearted (though, admittedly, socially somewhat inept) as Astin should feel so damn bad about himself in their company- weren't they all Hobbits, after all? And to a hairy-footed, pointy-eared one, he, more than any of them, looked the part- he'd become Sam- wise, compassionate, simple, devoted Sam. So when Billy took it into his Pippinish mind to lighten Sean up about being fat, it was Pip who took the lead in the whole shenanigans.

The trick was to ease Astin into it. Not confront him with three naked co-stars and some lube, but make it natural, something he'd find himself in the middle of and not want to get out of. No whipped-cream attacks, no "Here, have a condom!" parties. Something simple, subtle, and totally subversive.

This is where Dom's natural trickster instincts came in. "Everyone knows you and me, we're a thing, right, Bills? And they imagine Lij and Sean are, even though we all know they're not- so, what if we have a little party, just us hobbits, and you and I get a bit hot and heavy in front of them, and then Lij drapes himself all over Sean like he does anyway, but we kind of drape over them too- he may not go all the way there with us, but at least he'd get over not letting anyone even touch him." Dom thinks thinky thoughts for a moment, then amends, "At least, I hope that's how it'll go. Otherwise, Pete'll kill us, if Sam won't let Frodo close anymore."

"Don't be daft," Billy'd replied. "It'll work grand, or should do. Where's this hobbitpile to take place, then?" He'd already racked his brain for punch recipes, something that'd have more bite than Astin would notice at first, but not so strong that it puts him out of the loop too early. Just enough to ease the ways, so to speak, or grease them, depending on how far they'd get.

"How about a pool party? Be rid of most of the clothes, and he's like a damn fish- doesn't get so self-conscious around the water, yanno?" Billy thinks Dom's brilliant. There is something in Sean that sees the water as safe- maybe it's having grown up in LA with the beaches and pools everywhere, and everyone's just sort of out there, aren't they?

So an impromptu pool party it was- Lij's rental had a pool in back, and Sean hung out there all the time, so why not? A date was set, plans made with Elijah, and the game was on.

The real question was, would Astin shoot it off in front of them? No one expected him to actually have any sex with any of them, though Lij sort of sighed wistfully when that topic came up. "He's not hot, for sure, guys, but he's my Sam, and I do love him for that," he'd said.

"Well maybe he'll let you blow him," Dom'd said, earning a swat from Billy. "What? I only said-"

"A fine family man like Sean Astin? Nae, it'll take more than Elijah's fine mouth to get him to that pass. I think it'd take us three romping a bit, and then falling all over him, to get 'm to join in," Billy says. Ever practical, ever inventive, the wee Scot, Dom and Elijah'd commented to each other laughing. But they'd agreed- it would have to be a fait accompli to get Sean involved at all.

The day dawned- well, nooned- fair and warm. It'd been ages since Christine and the girls had been over- there'd been some things in LA that'd needed her attention, and some family stuff to do over there- so they figured Sean's pump was probably primed for action. Lij's back patio was set up with umbrellas and lounges and floating raft-things and drinks of various kinds, including a wickedly deceptive kiwi-lime punch that hid a prodigious amount of very good gin quite well.

Billy'd gone by to pick Sean up- just to be sure- while Dom helped Lij get everything ready. Luxurious towels, sinful chocolate dipped fruit, the drinks, the music- "Not Ravel's Bolero, everyone knows that's fuck-me music- let me pick out something more subtle!" Lij'd said, and the play list was made up, secret-like, and put on CDs, and all set up in the multi-disc player with speakers on the patio, hidden. When Billy and Sean entered through the back gate, the music was immediately danceable.

One thing Sean had to give his fellow hobbits- they might josh him about being chubby, but underneath that they respected what he'd done, gaining the weight for the part. Dom got to take his fat-suit off once filming pre-Orc-capture was done, but Sean was stuck with Sam's pudginess until principal filming was done- and who knew- he might have to gain back any losses if reshoots were extensive. So he didn't think much about it, peeling off his t-shirt and shorts to reveal a bright pink Speedo and Sam's round whiteness. Not like this was a beauty contest, right? Just a day off hanging out, swimming and resting.

It wasn't until an hour or so later, when Billy and Dom settled down on one of the floating lounges- or tried to- the first real kiss dumped them both off into the water, to Lij's great amusement- that anything started to happen.

The dripping duo climbed up out of the pool with their faces red for the clumsiness but not the kissing. They found a land-steadied huge bean-bag chair to plop down into, and Lij brought them each a fancy plastic glass of punch as well as one for himself and for Sean. He curled himself up on the end of Sean's lounge, some bendy Yoga posture only he could get into without thinking, and handed Sean his punch.

They watched and drank while Billy and Dom got cozy. It still didn't take long for Sean to start blushing, but this time, instead of looking away, he only sighed.

"What, Seanie?" asked Lij, uncurling. "Scoot over, and tell Little Lijah all about it."

"No room to scoot over, and it's nothing. Well, except that I miss Chris. And sometimes I envy those two- look at them!- so free..." Sean scooted back a bit anyway, making not quite enough room for Elijah to do anything but lie right up against him.

Well, where else could Sean put his arm, but over Elijah's hip. Not much room in those lounges, really, and they were friends. They were Sam and Frodo, for crying out loud, and everyone understood how Sam felt about Frodo.

Pretty much like Billy and Dom felt about Dom and Billy. Though without the giggling, writhing kissing that was going on over there. Except- apparently, with Lij taking Sean's hand and placing it firmly on Lij's belly.

"Looks like fun, don't it, Seanie?" he'd said, "The way they get on together?" He pressed back against Sean in an attempt to turn his head and look at him, but all it did was press his ass into Sean's cock.

"Yeah, it does," Sean answered, husky-voiced. Uncomfortable, because getting hard like this, snuggled up against Elijah's ass, wasn't the best idea- was it? And happy, to see how much Billy and Dom obviously had all that worked out- what went where, and how, and how to be comfortable with it. Flamboyant, even, if he was seeing right- their hands in each other's trunks, now, Dom's up the leg of Billy's, and Billy's down the waist of Dom's.

Which, to be completely honest, Sean's hand thought of being- down the waist of Lij's trunks. Speedos don't hide much- Lij must have been feeling this, even if he was too polite to say anything.

So why was his cock nudging Sean's hand, where Lij'd got their hands resting on his belly? And why was Lij getting up?

"Gonna get us some more fuckin' punch, Seanie. Be right back," he said, clambering out over the arm of the lounge, turning around to ruffle Sean's hair, kiss him on the forehead. Cup his face just a tad longer than Sean'd expected. "No, wait. Come with me, Seanie, get them some more, too!" Indicating Billy and Dom with a nod of his head. "Come on, come on, Seanie, come on," pulling Sean up from the lounge, leading him by the hand to the drinks table.

Why he could still walk with this raging hard-on trapped sideways under Sam's big belly under these ridiculous pink trunks was beyond Sean, but he could, and did, and found himself unsteadily standing next to the bean-bag holding out a drink to Billy.

"Thanks, mate," Billy said, taking the drink, stretching just far enough to set it down safely out of reach, then coming back, seemingly carelessly, to hook Sean behind the knees and pull him down onto their laps. "Whoa, hobbitpile!" Lij shouted, setting down his and Dom's drinks not nearly so carefully, as Sean's drink went flying and he went down. Lij barely waited until Sean was face side up before flinging himself down on top of him, neatly (or, not so neatly, but enthusiastically) sandwiching Sean between himself and Dom's and Billy's laps.

What ensued can only be called Touch Love. Elijah distracted Sean with teasing kisses and sweet nothings and jibber-jabber until all he could do was laugh, helplessly laugh, and Billy and Dom took over Project "Loosen Up Astin" as only they could do.

They left him some dignity- no one fondled his ass, for instance, or pinched the fat white thighs or soft belly. Instead they concentrated on the sweet lonely man underneath- the one that will carry Frodo up the mountain, the one that single-handedly rescued him from the Orcs. The man who left family and what little hope he had of ever being seen as anything more than a lump and a lummox to give life to Sam, sweet, stout, stalwart Sam. Sam, whose heart carries something that neither Pippin's nor Merry's nor even Frodo's does- a love of home and family so strong he'll leave all of it behind to protect it with his life.

They were not thinking that, though, as they stroked his arms, and found his cock, and brought him off while Lij kissed him -"Sean, let me, just this one time, please, Seanie, please?"

They were not thinking that while they held him afterwards, the three of them, and assured him there was nothing wrong with it, that they loved him, only did it for him, to make him feel better, and how would he like to get them off now, which suggestion brought the much needed laughter to him. With that he threw his arms around them, and kissed each one of them once on the forehead.

"No, fellas. I think I've had my share, today- more than- but would you mind if I watch?"

"Oh, Astin, kinky!" Dom shouted, then "Oi!" as Lij swatted him on the thigh. "What? He wants to watch!"

"Just don't tease 'm about it, Dom, that's all. He's got his standards, and they don't include being your teasing target that way." Lij was cute when he was protective- the youngest of them baring his teeth against slights, real or perceived.

"Oi, Lij, didn't mean it as -- well. Come on, kinky's got its good points, eh?" Dom says, but it's muffled because Billy's already got both hands on his face, pulling him down for a kiss as Lij pulls Sean over to the pool.

"You all right?" he asks, quietly.

"More than all right, yeah. Better than all right. Best I've been in ages, to be honest. Um, Lij?"

"Yeah?"

"How long have you guys been planning this?"

"Sean, you really think I'm gonna tell that? Get real!" With which he'd tagged Sean, said "Catch me if you can," and dived into the pool, Sean following him. Two LA boys dolphining in the water, perfect ending to their perfect day.

And Dom and Billy? Suffice it to say that in their own way, they had the perfect endings to their perfect day, not once, but several times.

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