All Of Our Suns the Same
Recipient: elmathelas
---
Author: kiltsandlollies
Pairing: Dominic Monaghan/Viggo Mortensen (implied Dominic Monaghan/Billy Boyd)
Rating: R
Notes: For the 2006 Slashababy fic exchange. Takes place during principal filming.
Dominic's something to behold this evening, half out of costume and bouncing a football from ankle to toe to knee outside the trailers and singing to himself, low and raspy. Viggo's been watching Dominic for almost fifteen minutes, crouched beneath a tree and pretending to clean Aragorn's knife while he does so, and he's decided that Dominic's waiting, true, but with little of the usual nervous tension he carries while on set--waiting, clearly, for something or someone that's worth the effort of patience that never comes easily for him. Waiting, clearly, for Billy.
By the time Viggo had arrived in New Zealand, Billy and Dominic had already formed a bond so tight that they'd moved past finishing each other's sentences and on to starting them--beginning new stories they'd embellish later for anyone willing to listen. Over the last few months, that bond has tightened further, and while no one, least of all Dominic and Billy themselves, would dare call them something as complicated or weighted as involved, or together, it's near enough to a truth Viggo can see and sometimes feel.
Dominic flirts with anything that moves, Viggo knows, but only for Billy does Dominic stop moving himself.
::
Dominic's singing rises and then abruptly stops, the tune's sentence punctuated by the full stop of the football banging against the trailer door, and from inside the trailer Billy throws a muffled curse Dominic doesn't bother to answer. Instead he wanders after the ball, following its ricochet path to Viggo's spot under the tree. The shadows around Dominic's eyes disappear as he gets closer, and Viggo returns Dominic's smile, prodding the ball with the toe of his boot.
"It's late," he says by way of hello as Dominic settles beside him. "You eaten yet?"
"I would have."
Viggo laughs and pokes a dirty fingernail into the vest hanging loosely on Dominic's body now that the padding's gone. "You could change, Dom. Before that thing becomes part of you."
"You first," Dominic snorts, bumping his shoulder against Viggo's. "I love you, but you're fuckin' rank."
"We're not talking about me."
"We're not talking at all. I'm not actually speaking. You're hearing echoes from an empty stomach."
"Empty, expressive stomach."
"You should hear Billy's."
"I'm good, really." Viggo sits up suddenly, making Dominic shift, too. "Hell with this, let's get dinner."
"I was waiting for Billy--"
"We're not talking about Billy, either."
::
So why the waiting? Viggo asks him across the table almost two hours later. They've discussed Billy in an offhand way throughout dinner, but Viggo's been careful not to press for more information than this--a fairly logical question, considering, but with no easy answer.
"In two weeks he's going off with Ian, right, and then I'll get to see him every other weekend or something, but. Elijah's already off with Sean, and I thought it'd be just me and Bill for a little longer, but Pete's not fucking around. The filming's going so much faster now."
"Just the filming, though." Viggo raises his bottle of beer to his lips, and Dominic swallows.
"Yeah, alright. Why don't you just tell me what you think you know, Vig. It'll go faster than this--" Dominic throws a hand in the air. "Vague shite."
"I'd rather just hear it from you. I'm not interrogating you, Dom; I'm just going off what I can see." Viggo shrugs and pushes his bottle away. "I thought you and Billy were--"
"We were. We are. Just not--" Dominic's mouth twists as if he's physically forcing the words into a joke. "A lot or often, like. Or well."
::
Viggo doesn't even blink, and Dominic flushes a shade of crimson Viggo thinks is particular to the hobbits. "I can't believe I'm talking about this."
"Then don't," Viggo shrugs again, his eyes darting to the wall behind Dominic and at the clock there. "I've got an errand to run about five hours from now. You wanna come?"
Dominic barks out a laugh. "An errand. At three in the morning. Yeah, why not. Why the fuck not. Who needs sleep."
"I do." Viggo tosses a few bills on the table. "C'mon."
Out on the street, Dominic doing the interrogating. "I'm not going to end up getting painted orange or busking somewhere, am I? Because just this once, I'm really not up for it."
"Just this once?" Viggo's smile creases his face. "No paint. And I'm not subjecting anyone to your singing, so, you know, rest easy."
"Not likely. Unless your place is close, because I think I could fall over dead if there was someplace soft to land--" Dominic pauses when they turn a corner and Viggo pushes open his back gate. "You're way ahead of me here, Viggo."
Viggo offers him one last shrug and one last smile. "So catch up."
::
Dominic doesn't know how long it's been since he closed his eyes, or whether he'd actually found any rest in that time. What he does know is that Viggo's still awake, still alert as ever even (or especially) in the dark. Dominic moves slowly, just spiderwalking his fingertips up Viggo's arm, and Viggo hums a bit and turns over, making to speak just before Dominic rises up a little in the sheets and covers Viggo's lips with his own.
"Hey," Viggo murmurs between Dominic's curious, oddly gentle kisses. "Hey. Dom--"
"I don't want to hear it." Dominic says, and Viggo grabs his hand, stops its progress down Viggo's side.
"You need to hear it. You need to get some sleep."
But Dominic can't; he's gone past the lapping, familiar waves of exhaustion and straight into newer, uncharted waters of things he's got neither smarts nor inclination to name. And Viggo's fucking warm where Billy's at a constant chill, and cleaned up he smells like grass and the morning where Billy's all burnt leaves and night. Dominic folds around him and into him, tucks his face deep into Viggo's neck and inhales, holding his breath until Viggo releases his own.
::
Viggo's quick to remind Dominic that he's not Billy. That this isn't really what he wants, and that whatever--Viggo's jaw sets hard against a word that would sound wrong even to the ears of someone less concerned with pitch and timbre and tone--comfort Dominic's looking for and might even receive here, it's not going to enough. That it's not going to happen again.
Dominic doesn't care. There's a rushing sound of sheets moving under his body as he turns on to his back and clenches his hands around Viggo's arms, pushing and pulling until Viggo's where Dominic wants him, above him and pressing his hands back down to the mattress. Viggo remains still for some time, heavy on Dominic and letting Dominic's frustration rise to the surface so it can be skimmed off, before he lowers his hands to tug at the boxers Dominic had only pulled on in the first place just before he'd climbed into Viggo's bed. Dominic laughs now to think of such a misplaced gesture in the direction of modesty, and he's only somewhat silenced when Viggo's hand wraps around his cock.
"Please," Dominic says after too many seconds have passed, and Viggo nods.
::
It doesn't last very long, because Dominic's so fucking tired that he just wants the release, that bleeding of poisons Ian's talked about Dominic needing after he's worked himself up into a frenzy on set or after. When Dominic knows he's close--when Viggo's fucking him blindly, shallow strokes hitting their mark and making Dominic curl his toes into the sheets and arch up--he forces his eyes open in time to see Viggo do the same.
Dominic looks away first, and not just because he's coming, fingernails digging into Viggo's shoulders and arms while Dominic shakes beneath him. When his breath returns, Dominic tries again to focus on Viggo before it's over and Viggo at least slides into the sleep they both need, but Viggo's not meeting his eyes and maybe he doesn't have to, Dominic thinks. Maybe he shouldn't, because fuck knows what he'd see. Dominic's not going to move if he can help it, and he's not going to regret this, or call it cheating or wrong or anything but fucking cathartic, thanks, and Billy's fault if it's anyone's--
"Get some sleep," Viggo says again, his voice rumbling and wasted, and Dominic's shocked into doing just that.
::
Viggo's errand indeed does not involve paint or singing or performance art of any kind, thankfully. He drives out of the city and into more darkness, seeming to know exactly where to turn and when, still alert and again awake, until they crest a steep hill and Viggo parks the car without explanation, without even a word.
Dominic tucks his hands in his pockets against the cold, though he barely notices it, absorbed in the view Viggo's led him to. The faintest ridge of sun is visible on the horizon, and Viggo settles into a crouch to watch it, camera in his hand and patience in his eyes.
"This is the errand? Sunrise?"
"Not bad, is it. You alright?"
Viggo's voice is light, but Dominic feels the weight underneath the words. "I will be. I'm--can we not talk about it? Can we just ... put it away or something. I don't want to tell him, and I don't want you to tell him. I just--can we not?"
"You never answered my question," Viggo says, as if he's heard none of Dominic's rambling. "I know why you're waiting on Billy, Dom; I just wonder what it is you're waiting for."
::
Dominic tells Viggo that when he figures that out, Viggo will be first to know, and in the meantime he doesn't want what's happened to fuck things up between them--between all of them--and Viggo says no, of course not, never.
The drive to the set is mostly silent, but there's something Dominic can't shake about the night, something that makes him turn and face Viggo until Viggo catches his stare and holds it.
"Let it out, Dom; you're gonna choke on it otherwise."
"We didn't even eat. We went to dinner and didn't even fucking eat. Drank, yeah, but--"
"You might have had some of those pickles."
"Shut it, Vig; we didn't eat," Dominic sighs. "Look, if you want to actually have dinner sometime, I can do that. I want to do that."
The impassive Aragorn smile's sliding over Viggo's features, now that they're back at the set. "Anytime. You don't have to ..." Viggo drums his fingers on the steering wheel. "Wait. For a reason. Or anything."
Dominic nods, the flush rising back up in his face. "I'll, ah--I'll see you. And about Billy, we'll just--"
"We're not talking about it," Viggo says, and Dominic nods again.
::
Dominic finds the football in front of his trailer, the little note on green paper stuck firm onto it with tape. Billy's spindly handwriting tells Dominic that he's forgiven for abandoning him, and that Billy could use some of that forgiveness in return if Dominic's willing to spare it. Dominic smiles and pushes the door open, launching the ball across the darkened space and into the corner of the sofa, where Billy catches it almost one-handed and falls over himself laughing when Dominic inhales sharply and stumbles backward on to the bed.
"Fucking git," Dominic grunts, tossing his bag away and turning back to Billy with his arms folded across his chest. "What're you doing in here, Bill?"
"Waiting for you," Billy shrugs. "I thought--it makes a change, yeah?"
Dominic nods and moves forward, settles in beside Billy as if there's no other place to be. "It's not the only thing that needs to, though, Bill. We've got what, another six months? Maybe more?"
"That's a lot of footballs." Dominic shoots a glare at Billy, but Billy's expression is utterly calm, with no trace of the pisstake. "A lot of kicking the stuff out of something that's not me."
::
"You could make it easier, you know," Dominic looks away again, contemplating his hands instead of Billy's eyes. "Everyone thinks you're the nice guy, that you're so fucking charming, and I hate t'be the one to break this to you, Bill, but you're not. You take advantage, you're as much of a shit sometimes as the rest of us, and I don't know why it only ... manifests itself, like, with me, and I'm getting fucking tired of waiting for you to take this seriously. I'm getting tired of waiting, full stop."
"Tired enough to sleep with Viggo?" Dominic doesn't flinch, and Billy chuffs out a harsh breath. "Fucking christ, Dom, you exhaust me. That's why I need you to wait, do you not see that? That's why I shut that door and why I can't fly out of here still half in costume and drink the pub dry with you every night. But I want to, Dom, you have to know that; you have to know that you've just got such a--head start on me there." Billy's hand flies up into his hair. "There and everywhere."
"So catch up," Dominic says and reaches for Billy, tired of waiting again.
::
Viggo chooses to spend more of his time this day inside his trailer, headphones on and empty unlined book in his hands. At times he can hear Dominic's voice outside, yelling at Billy or one of the crew girls, and the sound drags a smile from him. Billy and Dominic will be fine, no question. Viggo will be alright, too, but less so; there's rarely benefit to being party to a catharsis when it's not your own.
When he emerges from the trailer for the last time today, Viggo finds another smile for Dominic from somewhere deep inside his chest and lungs. "Hobbit."
"Human," Dominic shoots back, quick but slurry, too, words rushing from him while his hands move through the air and his fingers flex nervously. "I was lying, before. We--me and Billy. We aren't. But we will, we're going to, that's the thing, Viggo, that's why I keep waiting, that's what I've been waiting for. And he gets it now, and I don't care that that's what it took, but--" Dominic looks up. "We're not talking about this either, are we?" Viggo shakes his head, and Dominic's eyes fall back to the ground. "I'm sorry."
"I'm not."
::
It takes Viggo until late that evening to believe it, though. For once they've all congregated at the pub, and for once Billy's leaning into Dominic instead of the other way around. Viggo watches with more distance now, needing and wanting the space to pull back from his now intimate knowledge of Dominic's body and mind. When Dominic and Billy find him at a table and crowd in on him, one on either side, Viggo feels the tension between them falling away with every glass. Dominic excuses himself only a few minutes before closing time to settle their bill, and Billy turns to Viggo with a high colour in his cheeks so different from what Viggo's seen in Dominic's over the past twenty-four hours.
"Dom tells me you watched the sun rise." Viggo nods, and Billy touches the neck of his bottle to Viggo's absently. "I did as well. I couldn't sleep, so I just sort of waited up for it. And for him, too, yeah, but. It's funny, innit?" Billy pauses, and Viggo counts his own heartbeat loud in his ears until Billy speaks again. "All this time we've been looking at the same thing but seeing something different."
::
Viggo sees them off near his house and draws promises from them that they'll stop their wanderings at Dominic's flat and not attempt the longer journey to Billy's house. Viggo's still negotiating his front door lock when he hears Dominic's footsteps behind him.
"I don't think I can listen to anything else," Viggo says, and he's smiling but being honest too, something Dominic recognizes as he nods.
"Good, because I don't have anything else to say except thanks. For not making me feel worse about it than I already do."
"You're pretty sober for someone who's had as much as you did, Dom. Go home. Be happy."
"I didn't come back here for a blessing," Dominic laughs, and then rises on his toes to kiss Viggo, long and sweet. When Dominic pulls back, Viggo has to take a deep breath to keep from holding him there, and Dominic's smile turns kinder. "But I'll take it." A peace of some kind passes between them then, until Dominic forces himself to move, forces them both to move on.
"Get some sleep," he says as he walks away from Viggo's door, and Viggo steps into his house, thinking he might do just that.
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